I'm a Catholic. So what?

Don't fuck with me. Okay, maybe that was a bit rude but I think I own the right to say whatever I want when I'm pissed off and that doesn't happen very often. Believe me, even if I do get pissed, I'll usually forget all about it within a few minutes but some people are just gifted in finding the worst in me.

I say this with all due respect to Protestants all over the world but why the hell do you people like to fuck with Catholics? Do you get a kick from it or something? Try Ganja or if you want something a little more hardcore, I'd suggest cocaine or heroin. I don't know about the rest but I seem to be a walking target for you people. Throughout the years, I've had to deal with more shit from you people than anyone else. I don't go around telling people what stupid names you give your churches ( Okay, maybe that was uncalled for. Sue me. ) My modus operandi is that if I don't fuck with you, then you better not fuck with me.

Why am I pissed off? I'll tell you why. I've had a freaking long and tiring day today. I hate Russian bureaucracy. It is merely IMPOSSIBLE to get anything done here. The purpose of a well constructed administration is to maximize efficiency but theirs seem to decrease it. So after a day like this, I was basically looking forward to going home, taking a nice long shower, sitting down and enjoying a cup of coffee while I watch a few episodes of this series that I'm currently hooked on but a certain 'holy man' had other plans for me. It was a freaking long elevator ride from the 1st to the 12th floor.

I wasn't in the mood nor was I interested in the questions that he had for me. I mean, I go to whatever Church I want to. So what if your church is the real deal and mine is a fraud all along? It's my life and I'll be the one dealing with Satan later. Not you. I have no problems with people preaching as long as you don't mock other people's beliefs. Isn't that what you do? No matter what you say, that is what you're doing.

The next time I see that person and he starts his shit again, he won't be as lucky as today. Mark my Words.

Selamat Hari Raya

The title of the post speaks for itself but no harm in saying it again. Selamat Hari Raya to those who celebrate it and to those who don't, I know know what's wrong with you. We're all Malaysians. The more the merrier. No harm in helping make someones day better.

Yesterday night was a really interesting night for me. Nearly everyone was on the phone talking to their families and loved ones. The rest was just helping out with the preparations for today. The atmosphere in the hostel was a totally different one compared to other days when everyone will just in front of their laptops and watch movies. I've got to say that I enjoyed it very much. A bunch of guys came to my room and we watched a Thai horror movie. The thing about Thai horror movies is that they don't make sense most of the time but they never fail to keep you on the edge of your seat. But if they learn to run like the wind every now and then, not to look into places that they're not supposed to and remember that there's always safety in numbers, I think the fatality rate will drop significantly. Dumbasses. I really enjoyed watching that movie. Not just because of the movie but because it's been awhile since my friends and I have done that.

Waking up today, the hostel seemed pretty quiet which was strange because previous Rayas used to cause so much noise pollution that I think even Malaysia was affected. As I sat in front of my laptop, I realized that it could be because most of them were at the embassy already. It was a cold gloomy day but the embassy was radiating so much warmth. It was nice seeing Michelle there and a bunch of people that I've not met in a long time. I really enjoyed catching up with everyone of them. Unfortunately, I can't remember half of the people that walked up to me today. It's not that I'm a snob or anything like that. I'm just very bad with names. I really am. But I do try :-( Anyone got any special remedies for this?

The highlight of the day was the party that we had today in the hostel. The food was good and it's actually nice seeing all of them in one place at the same time. I found myself sitting in a corner while watching everyone joke around and laugh. I got lost in the moment and in my own thoughts. For the slightest of moments, I forgot about all my problems and that I was in Russia. A friend caught me daydreaming and I was pulled into one of their pranks.

I have a fever right now and I doubt that I'll be heading off to the university tomorrow. But I've got to say that I enjoyed Raya this year compared to the previous years for some reason. I just wish I could get the same atmosphere for Christmas :-(

Dumbasses and Politics

Ever notice how in a group of friends, there'll always be one guy who is very 'versed' in politics? He will have read every right wing and left wing newspaper and will always have an opinion on whatever is it that's going on right now all over the world. Let it be the rise of oil prices, who got demoted or who got promoted and even on same sex marriages sometimes. Gosh, I love it when people concern themselves with things that are NEVER going to effect their lives.

I usually tolerate these kinds of people because from what I see, people like these usually have a few reasons on why they go into politics in the first place. No. 1 - they see the mistakes and wrongs of the current situation and feel that they can do better. No. 2 - they THINK they sound cool when they talk about politics and my favorite No. 3 - they just have too much free time :-P Reason 2 and 3 are why I never bothered about politics. Although I do keep up with current events and stuff, I never liked it. In fact, I think that politics is just one dumbass losing the election and another dumbass coming to power. Either way, we're screwed. I may be wrong here but hey, that's just what I think.

Now, I have this friend. An old friend actually. We were in high school together. We lived on the same floor in our hostel but we never really spoke much. He was a weird little fuck. He keeps to himself all the time and never really mingles around. That doesn't mean we alienated him. No. In fact, I remember telling him on quite a few occasions to come to my room because we had extra food but he never showed up. We don't even know where the hell is he from but we kinda have an idea due to the West Malaysian accent that he has. Bear in mind, I never hated him and even when I was back home, I tried contacting him a few times because I heard he was in KK.

This motherfucker has turned from a quiet little fuck into a hardcore Malay supremacist. But hey, whatever makes u happy right? He'll post all sorts of shit on Facebook which amuses me sometimes because I don't think that Facebook is the place to start a propaganda or something. It's like going to a kindergarden and preaching about how they should all start hating each other and when they're all old enough, they are obligated to kill each other. LOL. I never really paid much attention to him until one day, he said something about an Indian was trying to diss Tun Mahathir or something. I just casually commented something but I was in a rush so I forgot to put an 'LOL'. That very same day after I came back from class, a full blown 'debate' was already on its way on his profile.

I never bothered to reply because I just wanted to stay out of it but I've got to say that some of the things he said were actually very racist. In fact, I feel that he should get his ass thrown into ISA for the things that he said. I was never a big fan of racism. In fact, I think it's stupid. But then again, everyone of us has a tiny bit of racism in all of us whether we'd like to admit it or not. I admit that I may be racist sometimes but I keep it under wraps and it's not up to the point where I'll go out and lynch someones ass. Look at it this way, I am of Indian heritage. I grew up in a Chinese neighbourhood and went to a Malay school. My best friend is a Punjabi/Chinese and most of my friends are Malays. But I never noticed this until that dumbass pointed it out.

We, East Malaysians are proud of the fact that we live in multi-cultural communities and we were never bothered by ethnicity. Of course there are a few bad apples that I'd like to bitch slap but overall, there's nothing wrong.

What happened to that dumb fuck? Well, after this Chinese guy who was my senior back in school screwed his ass ( not literally and no homo ), that guy just shut his mouth and turned his attention on the Malaysian new F1 Team. Serves you right, asshole.

Happy Birthday, Pap

I know it's my dads birthday today ( don't worry, Sarah. This I WON'T forget ). To be honest, I don't really know how old you are exactly today but sincerely, I wish I was there to celebrate it with you. I can't remember the last time I was there to be with you on your birthday because as long as I can remember, I've always been away from home. I was either away in MRSM, in KL doing my foundation and here in God's hell on Earth. I'd give anything to be with you today but I guess it'll be awhile before I'll get to wish you in person on your birthday.

There are a lot of things I wish I had the courage to tell you in your face. I know we never got along on a lot of things especially when it comes to religion and politics. But you've been the biggest influence in my life. I used to hate going for all those courses that you used to send me on during the school holidays because they usually contribute to unnecessary brain usage during holidays but I still went because I didn't want to disappoint you. I especially remember the typing course that you sent me for 2 months when I was in primary 6. The ENTIRE class was filled with young girls who just graduated from school and wanted to become secretaries while putting out for something better. What the hell was a primary 6 boy doing there? Only recently did I realize the importance of all those classes and courses that I went for and you'd be happy to know, that nothing that I've learnt was left unused. In fact, they've just helped me more along the way.

I realize that I was never the model son that you wanted me to be. I've always considered myself to be the black sheep of the family for obvious reasons and will always do. All I've ever wanted was for you to be proud of me. I've seen the glitter in your eyes when you speak of ex-students who are doing very well right now and the biggest reason why I took this scholarship in the first place despite knowing that I'm going to hate being here was so that you'd have the same glitter in your eyes when you spoke of me. I'm so sorry for everything. :-(

I admire you for all the things that you've got through but I just wish that you'd let go of the past and pay more attention to the present. You've got 3 head-breaking grandsons/monsters and another one on the way. I hope it's a girl to balance the equation because I dont think I can stand the idea of 4 kids running around the house causing havoc. A loving wife who will not leave your side no matter what ( although she can be a headache at times ) and 4 children who think the world of you.

I've always kept you in my prayers, Pap. There's a lot more I wish I could say to you and I think I shall leave it out of blogspot to avoid unwanted embarassment :-P So, yeah. Happy birthday again, Pap. I love you. By the way, that conference call thingy that akka planned was AWESOME. I'm glad we could all sing you 'happy birthday' even though it was over the phone.

Get Me Out Of Here

I hate this place. I really do. I refer to this place as 'God's hell on Earth'. That should more or less give you and idea on how much I hate this place. Although 'hate' is quite an understatement. Sometimes I wish that a nuclear war would just break out and all of us would have to be shipped back home immediately. I know that hell has a higher chance of freezing over before that happens though. Damn it.

I keep thinking to myself 'WHY THE HELL DID I COME HERE?' and is usually immediately reminded of a younger and more naive version of me whose only dream was to go overseas to pursue his studies. But fate would have it that I would get my ass thrown to this place. If I could go back a couple of years earlier, I would kick 38 different kinds of shit out of my younger self to have made him stay put in dearest KK.

Ask anyone studying here and you'll not hear even a single person singing praises about this place. If they do, it's usually one of the 2 scenarios. 1 - they're bigtime alcoholics who can drink like there's no tomorrow and 2 - they're just NUTS. I can't imagine how is it that I used to enjoy being here. Like I said, I was young and naive. I was a dumbass. There, I said it. It takes balls to degrade yourself like that but yeah, I did it.

Why am I still here? Well, I'm under scholarship and I can't afford to pay back whatever sum of money I may owe MARA. But even if I, by some miracle or by the Grace of God manage to obtain that amount of money, it's always the thought of disappointing my father that will kill me slowy. I just wish that he would understand but I doubt that he will anytime soon. It's not easy studying in these conditions. His reasoning is that 'if others can do it, why can't you?'. Well, maybe I'm not as strong as you think I am. Imagine waking up everyday looking forward to sunset so that you get the day over with as soon as possible. Prison isn't as bad as this. Oh wait. Maybe it is. At least we don't get our asses raped over here. But we do get racist attacks from Neo-Nazi Groups. It's kinda stupid if you think about it. They lost half of their male population to Nazi Germany during World War 2 and they have Neo-Nazi Groups here now? Do these people even have brains?

Oh, by the way, on a lighter note. A friend of mine mentioned to me a couple of days back that a friend of hers is coming here to do medicine ( if you're reading this and most probably you will, I apologize in advance and instead of getting pissed at me for this, bear in mind that I did my best to hold on to any sarcastic and rude remarks that I would have normally given under normal circumstances ). The standard response to a statement like this would usually be 'Why here? Couldn't he have gone somewhere else?'. The best part is, that dude turned down other offers because he wanted 'adventure'. For those of you who know me quite well, you can probably imagine how my facial expression and body gestures would be like after hearing that. For those who don't, please get to know me better ;-) Anyways, back to our Christopher Columbus, all I can say is, he's going to get one hell of an adventure here. Cheers to him and his future endeavours. Lol.

So, yeah. Please pray that I won't decide to jump out of the window ( I live on the 12th floor so that's gonna leave more than just cuts and bruises ). This is by far the biggest obstacle that I've had yet to overcome. Sigh.

Why not?

This is probably my 3rd attempt at starting a blog. Over the years, I've had a lot of people who have walked up to me and suggested that I start a blog but I would just smile, nod and give the impression that I was taking them seriously when I'll just walk away later and forget about the entire thing. ( if you read this and recall a smirk on my face when you were talking to me about something serious and getting no feedback whatsoever from me later on, I'm truly sorry. )

Why did my previous 2 attempts fail?

Hmm. Well, my 1st attempt was basically this Friendster blog that everyone had back in the day when Friendster was the 'in' thing. Now everyone seems to have moved to Facebook leaving Friendster just a distant memory filled with viruses and spams. You have no idea how hard I laughed when I received a 'message' on Friendster from this really buff dude that I know sending me links to 'his nude pictures'. Both an amusing and scary thought at the same time. I haven't logged into Friendster in AGES and I'm not sure if my account is still active although I do receive emails from Friendster every now and then. My 2nd blog was basically a one week thing where I attempted to keep myself busy to distract my mind from this hell I'm currently in. As you can see, that went well.

So, why this 3rd attempt?

Well, some people say the 3rd time is always the charm. I say, those people can go eat a.. Nevermind. Well, I have a lot of crap and nonsense in my head that I feel is worth sharing. Sometimes. I just hope I don't offend anyone or get a court case along the way. But most of all, this was my younger sisters doing. She's an awesome writer. In fact, she writes better than me. Period. This is more or less a way to keep in touch with her and so that she'll know what's going on in my life right now. If you're reading this, I love you, Sarah. :-)

So, yeah. I just spent bloody 3 hours on trying to figure out how to upload themes and shit into blogger. I'm pretty proud of myself but considering on how fast other people are doing it, I feel like such a dumbass. I felt like a grandpa in a nursing home somewhere trying to figure out how to get the coffee maker to work or something. So yeah, cheers to me and the overpriced aerospace engineering degree that I'll be getting in 2 more years. You better hope that I won't be designing Malaysia's next satellite or the plane that you're going to board. Hehe.

May I keep this blog going for as long as I can. Amen.