You'll be happy to know that some of my friends are back so I'm not alone anymore. I have some people to keep me company but in my heart, I'm dying of emptiness. I find myself staring at the calendar and counting down the days until you come back to me. It's exactly two weeks till you arrive in Moscow again. I recall you telling me that a week went by really fast for you. For me however, it felt like an eternity.

The guys made black pepper chicken just now and I fried some vegetables for dinner. The dish they made smelt really good and I found myself wishing I could just take a bite but I'm no longer that person, I'm different. There's a lot of things I wish I could do right now like have a BigMac, drown my sorrows in alcohol and smoke my lungs out but breaking my fast will just mean a broken promise, alcohol will not solve my problems and smoking will probably deteriorate my health even more.

What I really want however is to be happy with you again, to wake up to your messages, to feel your warm embrace, to hear your soothing voice and bask in the bliss that is your presence. I want to be able to grasp your hands in mine and to be able to feel you gripping back. Your tender kisses on me and the comfort that comes along with your scent. I want to be able to see your beautiful smile again and hear that addictive laughter of yours that sometimes sound like a comedic version of a motorboat.

I'm prepared to take on anything that comes along our way head on. No matter how painful or how hard. No matter how bad or tough you may treat me. Even if it kills me, I'll take on the world if I have to and this is no 'sugarcoated lie'.

Because what I want, above everything else, even disregarding my own sanity and well being, is simply for you to love me again...


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