It wasn't cold but the winds were strong and the snow was thick. That didn't stop us from venturing out to play basketball. It's been awhile since I did and it was a nice change to being cramped up alone in my room and letting my overactive imagination get the best of me. Half my body is aching right now. I don't usually feel like this after a game. Maybe it's because of my current vegetarian diet.

I had a bit of fun. I gave up smoking weeks ago but I guess the effect will linger around for a little while. For some reason, everytime I scored a basket, I found myself looking at the benches nearby. I thought it was weird myself and only a while after did I realize that I was hoping to see you there. At tournaments, each time I scored, I'd look at you and you'd be smiling at me as if you were saying 'good job, baby. Score a few more for me'. I got depressed, lost focus and played one of the worst games in my entire life.

I tripped at one point. You know that feeling when an accident happens and you can somehow smell blood? Lying down on the ground, I swear to God, I could smell your scent. It wasn't vague but vivid, as if you were crouched over me checking if I was injured or not. I didn't want to get up because I didn't want to lose your scent. Maybe it's because I've been sleeping with your t-shirt next to my face since the day you left. It disappeared after a few minutes and I felt like it was such a painful prank but after awhile, I felt as if you were present in the hall, watching my every move. This may sound insane but I felt closer to you for some reason after that.

I've made up my mind. I'm not playing in the inter-Moscow games nor am I playing in the Kursk Games. I have no reason to play. I want to win something much more significant and meaningful. I know I'll win. Nothing can stop me.


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